My last post was in January. Not gonna lie; that’s a long time. Eight months ago I made the leap to start over on my blog; I even created an archives blog for all the old stuff I had. My new year’s resolution was to blog consistently to get things looking up in the future. I may have garnered a few responses on Twitter, but that was within the last month.
Factor in the lack of interactions with other bloggers and recognition, and you’ve got a powerful discouraging formula. I can only recall one other blogger that made an appearance in my comments.
In the beginning, the appeal of blogging was shiny. It was the brand new smell of a car that you inhale the moment sit in the seat for the first time. I had so much fun blogging and formatting my reviews; the progress from the old stuff to the new way I did things. I worked hard to be harsher on books so I didn’t just give them all five stars all the time. Knowing what I know today about movements like feminism and Black Lives Matter, I can give that harshness a go. The importance of these things matters.
But, after about a year, the stats of my blog halved, and halved again. There was significantly less traffic to my first site (at the time called “The Writing Corner”), and I wasn’t sure where it all went wrong. To this day, I still don’t know. I lost interest in trying to keep up, because people weren’t coming to say something about the reviews I had. I tried to keep up with things like Cover Crush and Waiting on Wednesday. Those got to be a bit much for me.
Those weren’t the only things. I followed a few blogs, some weren’t as prominent in my feed as others were. I had a favorite, one whose blogger made a consistent appearance in my comments. At first, we were on the same level; we were new bloggers trying to get into the shape of things. Then, her blog grew and mine was left in the dust. It drove home the issues I had tried to push aside just to get through my next post. It became harder to reconcile with those feelings, but I don’t blame anyone for it. I don’t think there’s anyone to blame.
I’ve looked around at other blogs, and I noticed that they, too, kind of went downhill, but not because of a lack of something other than the time to invest. They simply said goodbye and no longer post anything. I don’t have the heart to do that. I’m stubborn and persistent and I want to keep this blog until I can no longer use it. That’s hard to do when you’re barely recognized.
As a result of all this, I’ve barely touched a book. My goal for the last two years was to read 100 books because over half of what I own is unread. For the last two years, I barely got that reading challenge done. I haven’t even started it this year, and I just picked up Six of Crows not long ago. (And not to mention, Leigh Bardugo will be at Anderson’s Bookshop this September for Crooked Kingdom.) There’s so much that I want to do, to read, but the appeal of it all has gone dull. Instead I’m finding new shows to watch and
new old games to play. The truth of it all is that I’m more excited about Mass Effect: Andromeda coming out next year, and I don’t even have a PS4!
Anything to hide the pain of having a blog, I suppose.